Friday, September 4, 2009

Day Four

Heath just asked me what I did today that was interesting. I laughed. Let's see, as a mom, I do a lot of things but are they interesting...changed diapers, fed and bathed the kids, did the dishes, made the bed, did the laundry, folded clothes, organized cubbords, cleaned up toys...all day, took a shower, played catch with Camden, built lego robots with Jace, was made into a pizza, tried to download Skype for an hour, danced around the room to Dan Zane and the Backyardigans, made dinner, cleaned up messes.

It's funny how my days are made up of all these little things but they are all so important. I used to dream of being a busy mom. Is that crazy? I would picture my life married with 4 or 5 kids driving them to and from practice, appts, playdates, taking care of the house in the middle of it all, teaching them about faith and life, and making yummy snacks and scrumptious dinners. Crazy thing is, I still want this. I LOVE being a mom...even if it is crazy and can take every last inch of patience. The last couple weeks, we've juggled the idea of me going back to work to help our financial situation (loans galore). I can tell you that everytime it came to my mind, I would get choked up. I can't even imagine my life any different and without these two sweet boys in my life....even if it were for a couple hours a day. I used to work full time. I did up until Jace was almost 3. Then, it was different and I knew nothing else. Now, I know what it's like to stay home fulltime and I don't want anything else. Sure, there are plenty of days where going to work would be a HUGE relief and a nice break. But, then I think about missing even a moment of Camden changing and learning something new or Jace saying something like, "i like riding elegators." He has a hard time with his "v." For now, I'm not going back but I'm still toying with the idea of doing something from home. I just can't let go of how much I could help pay off our loans. I know we'll know what to do if it's right and most of all I know that the Lord guides and directs us everyday. How grateful I am to know that family is the most important and he'll make it possible to accomplish the thing that he's commanded of us.