Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It's just about now when the tears start to fall
I wonder if i'm gonna make it at all
This is not about trying to go back in time
This is not about where we'll be a year down the line
It's just moment to moment, surviving somehow
This is not about then, this is just about now.

I think I realize now what this song is about. She is just trying to make it through one more day. And she doesn't want to think about the great times in the past or the easier it will be in the future, she just wants to dwell on how much she misses him now. Heath is gone every night of the week these days except Sat and Sun. He took a night job delivery pharmaceuticals MF and while it's nice to have some income it comes at the expense of never having a daddy or a husband. He's at school T-Th all day and night and yesterday was just one of those days where I was just trying to make it through till bedtime. The boys miss him terribly too. Sometimes I can't help when I just start crying. It's not that I'm depressed. I just get overwhelmed and then with the prego hormones, i just cry more. The good thing is I see a much brighter future but it's just hard with this work and school thing. I will be thrilled when it's done and welcome the days where he works every day but is home by dinnertime. I know graduate school was the right decision and I know it will be a huge blessing in the long-run, there are just those days where wow, it's hard. I'll get through it. I always do. I am so blessed and we really do love it here. thanks for listening to my sob story. :) I'll have a happy one tomorrow.

6 comments:

Becka Dietrich said...

What's going on Stacey? Are you ok? You have so many people that care about you, let me know if you ever want to talk or just vent.

Alison said...

Great... Now I am crying too. I think we have our mother to thank for that. Sometimes I cry during the olympics, or at touching commercials. I always try to hide that because it is sometimes embarassing, but at least I know of one thing I got from my dear mother!

Lano said...

I admire your courage, Stace. Thanks for sharing, and please don't go it alone - call!

J and L said...

Oh, found the lyrics... Chin up!!
http://artists.letssingit.com/charlottes-web-lyrics-chin-up-b44qrmh

J and L said...

Hang in there Stacey!! I know exactly how you feel. I totally had that song from Charlotte's Web run through my head when I read this. The Chin Up song the goose sings... Do you know what I'm talking about?? Anyway, point is, chin up darlin'! It does totally suck, but this too shall pass...

adrienne said...

i couldn't understand more! it really makes you wonder how single moms do it! you have a lot going on right now i wish i lived close so we could keep each other company! i love that you are so honest! i think everyone has day like this but most are to afraid to admit it! love you take care