Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Dear Void

Hello 2013. It's been a long while since I had said hello to this blog. Mostly  because life is too busy to sit and post pictures and write all the time but it's definitely been something I've been missing. I've been an avid journal writer my whole life, thanks to my grandma's example. :) And I'm sad to say, I haven't written in a long time. My journal entries have been reduced to notes on my iphone about spiritual insights I've had throughout the week. Well, I want to reenter the blogging world and not for any recognition and in hopes that my words just go out into the deep void and perhaps no one will ever read them. That's what I'm hoping and so I'm going completely private. I really don't think anyone ever read or reads my blog anyways, so it won't be a big deal. Truth be told, I'm doing it for me not for you. sorry. my pictures will all be found on facebook unless i change my mind. I have also been struggling with how to document my kid's lives. I printed like 300 pictures to put in books but now I'm wondering if i should just do books. oh boy. what to do. It's bad enough that I have 3 kids and have nothing done!!! my poor children. So, this is my attempt to document my life and one of my goals this year is to document theirs and figure out a system that works for me. I can't donate a lot of my time to anything at this point. I work part time and try to run a household and some women are super and can do it all but really, i'm just trying to survive. We are starting out again in a new house and a new ward and new neighbors but the place is familiar as it is in Arizona. I feel like i can't really get my feet on the ground and begin to have organization. I'm working on it. Other thoughts I've had include trying to channel my thoughts about raising kids and capturing the moments that are happy. life is hard and my grandpa said, you just have to find that one moment every day that brings joy. He died last week. It wasn't sudden but it was still hard. It's weird knowing he's not here but his funeral was so full of his life and legacy and i loved it. He was an amazing man. I was thinking about his generation and how it's passing away. How important it is to pass on their legacy and their values of hard work and what it was like to live a simple life and to enjoy the beauties of the day or to go on an adventure or to take a risk. He said, do something even if it's wrong. He knew how important it was to work and to be doing something being active and asserting yourself in some way shape or form. faith preceeds the miracle. I wonder what my funeral will be like. What legacy am i living. I know life is too short not to enjoy it. i think life has gotten in the way sometimes of me realizing the gifts but it's coming back. even now, i'd like to write more but I need to start dinner. Thanks void for being there. until later.

No comments: